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I'm Your Home - Look After Me

Updated: Dec 5, 2021


It’s me I'm a house, I may not be your house as there are loads and loads of us, but I can still help you look after one of us; Here's my top tips to looking after your home:

1. Do keep me warm and well ventilated at all times. We are not big fans of your hot summers or your cold damp winters. We need lots of fresh air in the summer months to keep us cool and we need both your heating and the fresh air in the winter months to stop those nasty black spots appearing on our walls and ceilings. If you do get any, wipe ‘em away will ya!

2. I'm big on presentation and first impressions are everything as you well know. How am I going to keep up my reputation with the neighbours if you don't attend to my lawns? The grass keeps growing, as do those pesky weeds. Some of us are really quite old now and those wooden bits, well they need a lick of paint every now and again.

3. Keep me locked up when you're not about. Sometimes when you go out I notice some strange looking individuals walking by, casting their eyes over me, I'm sure some even pass by more than once or twice. I really don't want anyone I don't know entering inside, so that little metal shiny thing you have with the bobbles and points - its a key, use it, lock me up.

4. One thing that really worries me is fire and smoke. I know you like your cooking and I know you like those lovely little candles that you've scattered around the house and to be honest both make me smell oh so lovely...however, I'm really quite worried about what could happen one day so please, please, please take care with this stuff and check those smoke alarms regularly…. Promise me.

5. I'm all for taking care of the world we live in, let's face it if I haven't been already I'm gonna be here a lot longer than you probably are aren't I…? I’m up for being more ‘green’ if you are, so go ahead, place those tube things on my roof and let's welcome the sunrays, let's turn down the heating inside and fit those smart meter things too if you like.

6. Your pets, you lot do love your pets don't you? Thing is when you leave them alone you've no idea what they get up to do you? Nope - well I do and blimey they run amok, they act like they are taking over the world. So do me a favour, keep them entertained, take them out, look after them and don't leave them for too long by themselves….they might not let you back in one day then I'll be like ‘’told you so’’.

7. My eyes to the world, well so I can keep an eye on my neighbours - I'm talking about my windows. You do know I can't see outside if they are left to get grimy. There are even little chaps running around outside carrying long ladders who I see climbing up and wiping windows next door. I think they charge a small payment for doing this but they do a great job. Nudge nudge !

8. You know your car that’s sat on the driveway? Well I know it's not the newest nor the most aesthetically appealing car in the world and yes I know you do sometimes clean it in the summer, but have a look at it now, go on, have a look, it's filthy and it’s sat on my driveway for everyone to see. If I could help you I really would, I'm just asking that you clean it a bit more often and keep checking underneath too as I've noticed some little black patches of gooey substance which is really difficult to remove and very unsightly.

9. Everything must come to an end and you and I, well we are going to part ways eventually, but let me tell you, I won't leave you if you promise to do your part and when that time comes that you do eventually decide to leave me, please leave me in the best condition you can and even leave some lovely notes for the next person that moves in (promise I won't like them as much as I do you).

10. I know I'm very needy and a little bit awkward at times, but honestly let's work together here. If you look after me I will look after you and we can be friends forever (well at least until you've had enough of me and move out or even sell me)............


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